MLB Playoff Scenarios Too Confusing, League to Replay Second Half of The Season

Selig: "What? What is this? Just do it over again."

Notre Dame Loses to All Girls Catholic School

The Notre Dame Fighting Irish football team hasn't fighting much lately, just losing. After dropping their opener to some school in Florida not named Florida, Miami, or Florida State, Notre Dame lost to the obviously inferior Michigan, whose defensive scheme resembles the rules of "Smear the Queer".

Notre Dame, in order to get their confidence back, scheduled an all girls catholic school to a exhibition game but lost 24-21. 

Brian Kelly as always was irate after the first quarter when the Irish trailed 7-0.

Kelly upset after WR Michael Floyd lost a fumble

When Sally Johanson drove her troops down the field to put her powder puff team up 14-0, they knew they had a chance to win. "I felt like we were executing our plays very well, all the girls were in a good mood today and we just hit our spots at the right time." Johanson said after the exhibition. "We have a lot to work on and we made some mistakes but we came out with the win."

Johanson completed 21 of her 32 pass attempts racking up 341 yards and 3 touchdowns.

"We suck." Brian Kelly said in the post game interview. "We just flat out suck."

The Irish will pencil in another loss this weekend as they host the much better Michigan State Spartans.

Peyton Manning Accidentally Has Another Surgery

Peyton Manning was expected to comeback this season after undergoing a neck surgery on May 23rd. But the Colts signal caller accidentally had another surgery which could cause him to miss the whole season.

"Wow, I really messed up... i just got in the habit of getting neck surgeries I just went in there and got another one... turns out I might have to miss the whole season." Manning said in his press conference Thursday.

Turns out, nothing was even wrong with Manning's neck.

"He came in for another surgery, so we just kinda dinked around in there, found nothing wrong... So after a few hours we got bored and sewed him back up." Dr. John Nathan said. "I didn't realize it would have this much impact on his career."

To add insult to accidental injury, the Colts accidentally signed Kerry Collins as a back up quarterback.