Baltimore Ravens: "We lost our pick."

Oher was afraid he ate the pick

The Baltimore Ravens had the 26th overall pick going into the first round Friday, but when they were put on the clock, they couldn't find their pick. "We were ready to turn in our pick, then we realized we lost it." Said head coach John Harbaugh "We started turning over chairs, asking if the Steelers took it, and looking in the trash can."

There was mass confusion in the draft room as the Ravens clock hit 0:00 allowing the Chiefs to draft 26th. "We will probably buy the Ravens a drink or something, send them a nice gift because that was nice of them to let us move up the board for free." Said Chiefs head coach Todd Haley.

At one point running back Ray Rice was crawling under tables looking for the pick. By the time the Chiefs made there selection, Harbaugh found the pick under Michael Oher's half eaten sandwich.

Another NFL Player Arrested For Doing Something Stupid

Backups Gone Wild

Yet another NFL player was arrested yesterday for doing something really stupid in the off season. This is the 34th NFL player to get in trouble with the law in the month of April. Agent Drew Rosenhaus spoke to media this morning representing his client. "My client did something really stupid, and got arrested... I'm not going to say what he did or who else he was with, which were also all my clients, but it was really stupid. Next question."



Albert Haynesworth hasn't done anything since 2008 



NFL commissioner Roger Goodell made a written statement about the level of crime rates among NFL players. "I am very displeased with all the dumb things these professionals do in the off season but we can't control what they do in their personal lives, no matter how boneheaded it may be. Currently we are working on a new discipline system in the new CBA to control these players during the off season. I think if we rewarded the players for behaving they would stop, maybe a bonus check for a clean record for a year or a trip to Dairy Queen for the rookies."

In the last 3 weeks alone, there have been twice as many arrest than usual. Many experts say the increase in arrest is due to the boredom the NFL work stoppage has created. Just last week Arizona Cardinals kicker Jay Feely was arrested for loitering in front of University of Phoenix Stadium. "I just didn't know what to do with myself..." Jay said after leaving the police station. "I wanted to go into work but they didn't let me... so I got bored."

Dwight Howard: "I like to play Army Men with all my awards"

Stan Van Gundy sometimes plays with Dwight on weekends

In Mondays press conference Orlando Magic Center Dwight Howard was awarded his third consecutive Defensive Player Of The Year Award. Howard Announced he was grateful for the award and glad his work paid off. "I'm glad I got this... 'Cuz i like to play Army Men with all my awards," Howard said as he clanked his 2010 award against his 2011 award "I line them up and they do missions and stuff....pew pew....pew kabooooom!"

Dwight names all his trophies

Howard has an entire room devoted to trophies he has acquired over his career, with over 100 total trophies, most of which have little men in some basketball pose at the top. Howard has broken off most of the figurines and has them scattered over the floor.

"Um... My favorite one? I don't know... I like them all, actually." Howard told the press as he pulled out a bronze basketball figurine with a missing leg. "This one got his leg blowed off... But he can fly so I like him." He said ramming the figure into the badly scratched 2009 Defensive Player Of The Year award.

When asked if he wanted to add the NBA Finals Larry O'Brien Trophy to his collection, Howard muttered something in what seemed like German, tipped over the microphone with his 8th grade MVP trophy, then got up and asked if he could go potty.

Typical Cincinatti Police Line Up Circa 2006

Was it number 88...76...33...68...

Todd McShay has Todd McShay #1 in Mock Draft 6.0

In his newest mock draft board, ESPN NFL draft expert Todd McShay picked himself to go #1 to the Carolina Panthers. McShay played as a backup at Richmond from 1995-97, before a back injury ended his college career.

McShay's knowledge of the NFL draft will help his status

"I was a really good backup in college, I knew the plays and tried really hard in practice--I just never got my chance." McShay said Thursday "I decided while filling out my new draft board, that I could probably be better than some of the other quarterbacks in this draft."

McShay does have some intangibles that can help him at the quarterback position. McShay is currently ranked #1 in ESPN's Top NFL Draft Analyst Power Rankings. McShay, 34, is also a lot older than the other kids in the draft which shows he can handle himself emotionally on and off the field.


Mel Kiper Jr. has McShay going 5th, to the Arizona Cardinals.

Brett Favre Retires From Retiring

I'm serious guys, this is the last time. I swear.

Little Leaguers and Parents Brace for Lockout

After the NFL Lockout, and the looming work stoppage in the NBA, Little League Baseball is soon to follow. Reports say the players union and parents have much to work on before the Little League World Series, and if it isn't taken care of, there will be no Little League Baseball.

"One of the things is the players want more rides to and from practice, and they want better snacks after the games-" said proud parent of 12 year old short stop Nick Fouts. "We just can't give these kids all the rides they want, and we need to make sure they eat healthy after a game."

"I don't know what a union is, but I want a higher allowance... look, I'm the one out there hitting the home runs, and what do I get in return? No respect from the parents, thats what." Added 12 year old Trenton Martin, who played on last years Pearland Texas team that reached the consolation game.

Most little leaguers think money grows on tree's, this proves why

One of the main arguments the players are making against the parents is they are making too much money, and not passing on the revenue generated in the household onto the players. In 2010, Parents of Little Leaguers made an average of $62,000... The Players of these parents were given an average total of $240 in allowances, only .00387% of the annual salary brought in by the parents. Some say this is giving too much to the parents, too much power and control of these 11 and 12 year old kids. Looking at the NFL model, the owners and players are trying to split a $9 Billion dollar pie, while the Little Leaguers Players Association  and parents are arguing over a couple hundred dollars. Not even a starving African would be happy about a slice of the pie that small.

"Not only do we deserve a higher allowance, we want better snacks after the game. We spend most of our week in school, working on homework so one day I can go to college, get a degree and support my mom after my slacker father left her when I was 9... We already practice twice a week, what else do they want from us?" Said outfielder Mikey Dunn from South Bend, IN. "We are all winners, stop spending all the money on cheap trophies for the last place team and spend it on better snacks, this is ridiculous."

With no Little League, the Hopkinton Royals might end a 5 year run as city champs

The Little League Players Union and the parents have until August 1st, the same day that school registration ends, to come up with a new CBA. Most Fans are outraged by the possibilities of there being no Little League World Series.

"I have season tickets to our local league, but I also already bought my tickets for the World Series, if they don't have one this year where will my refund come from?" Said Jenna Munds, 46, from Williamsport, PA. "I just can't imagine what this could lead to, first this, then what? They boycott school?"

CEO and President of Little League Steve Keener made this statement Wednesday. "Right now our first goal is to get the regular season under way, but as far as I can see the Players Association and Parents Union have a lot to figure out. If there is no season we will try our hardest to get the World Series under way in August."

The parents are starting a movement to get the little leaguers to fold on their demands. Jason Dane, head of the Parents Union is getting most of the parents on board with a plan to get the kids to budge. "They won't back down from this, they are tough little kids and are asking for a lot, but push come to shove the parents are ready to give the kids a time out, or a spanking if they don't stop whining."

If Little League does lock out, it will be the first time in history that a major sport, and a youth sport have locked out in the same year.