Justin Verlander Wins Cy Young Award

Justin Verlander throws really fast

Detroit Tigers ace Justin Verlander won the 2011 Cy Young award after an incredible season. Verlander posted a 49-0 record, with a 0.00 ERA. Verlander didn't walk a single batter he faced, in fact only threw 3 balls over the course of the season.

"I just went out there and tried to throw a perfect game each time." Verlander said after throwing back to back perfect games to finish off the season, "I would just go out and throw a bunch of fast balls and hope it was in the strike zone." Verlander shattered the fastest pitch record by throwing 120+ MPH curve balls routinely. He also racked up a record 21 perfect games. At one point, Verlander struck out 94 consecutive batters.

"What he did this season was unreal." said Twins slugger Joe Mauer, "It felt like you came up to bat with an 0-2 count, it was crazy." Well Mauer was kind of right. Verlander would often throw a pitch so dirty, it counted as two strikes. Umpires were so amazed with his warm up pitches, they would credit him a strike before the batter even got into the batters box.

Sadly, Verlander did not play well in the post season, since every time he started the game was delayed by rain... Many believe that God himself is the only one that is able to stop Justin.

MLB Playoff Scenarios Too Confusing, League to Replay Second Half of The Season

Selig: "What? What is this? Just do it over again."

Notre Dame Loses to All Girls Catholic School

The Notre Dame Fighting Irish football team hasn't fighting much lately, just losing. After dropping their opener to some school in Florida not named Florida, Miami, or Florida State, Notre Dame lost to the obviously inferior Michigan, whose defensive scheme resembles the rules of "Smear the Queer".

Notre Dame, in order to get their confidence back, scheduled an all girls catholic school to a exhibition game but lost 24-21. 

Brian Kelly as always was irate after the first quarter when the Irish trailed 7-0.

Kelly upset after WR Michael Floyd lost a fumble

When Sally Johanson drove her troops down the field to put her powder puff team up 14-0, they knew they had a chance to win. "I felt like we were executing our plays very well, all the girls were in a good mood today and we just hit our spots at the right time." Johanson said after the exhibition. "We have a lot to work on and we made some mistakes but we came out with the win."

Johanson completed 21 of her 32 pass attempts racking up 341 yards and 3 touchdowns.

"We suck." Brian Kelly said in the post game interview. "We just flat out suck."

The Irish will pencil in another loss this weekend as they host the much better Michigan State Spartans.

Peyton Manning Accidentally Has Another Surgery

Peyton Manning was expected to comeback this season after undergoing a neck surgery on May 23rd. But the Colts signal caller accidentally had another surgery which could cause him to miss the whole season.

"Wow, I really messed up... i just got in the habit of getting neck surgeries I just went in there and got another one... turns out I might have to miss the whole season." Manning said in his press conference Thursday.

Turns out, nothing was even wrong with Manning's neck.

"He came in for another surgery, so we just kinda dinked around in there, found nothing wrong... So after a few hours we got bored and sewed him back up." Dr. John Nathan said. "I didn't realize it would have this much impact on his career."

To add insult to accidental injury, the Colts accidentally signed Kerry Collins as a back up quarterback.

Randy Moss asks for retirement checks in "Straight Cash Homie"

Moss will receive cash payments for retirement

EA Sports Realeases Madden Lock Out Game

EA Sports Gaming and the Madden NFL series got together to create the newest Madden game "Madden NFL 12: Lock Out".

Available on XBOX360, PS3, and Wii

The creators of the game wanted to make a realistic lock out experience to bring a never before seen style of game. Unlike any other Madden NFL games, there will be no football in the game. Similar it's sister game, Madden NFL Coaches 09, the player will be able to control what happens off the field to give the player a more realistic idea of how the NFL functions.

The game brings many new features including CBA negotiating, owner and NFLPA meetings, player only practices, and keeping the roster out of trouble off the field.

The game will also feature new "mini games" like "Pin the tail on the Commissioner"  and "Ride the Bull with Ochocinco"

The game will be released Friday at midnight with over 11 Million copies on back order.

2KSports is rumored to be working on a similar game for "NBA 2K12: Lock out" but no one working on the game has confirmed these rumors.

Alvin Gentry: "We Drafted The Wrong Morris Twin"

Gentry Nearly Soiled Himself When Markieff Showed up

One of the many story lines out of the 2011 NBA draft was the Morris twins being drafted back to back, 13th and 14th by Phoenix and Houston. Markieff Morris was drafted by the Suns before his brother Marcus, despite Marcus being the clearly better player, a better scorer, and the Big-12 Player of the year at Kansas.

After Markieff showed up to the Suns facilities Monday, Suns coach Alvin Gentry almost had a heart attack.

"Holy crap... We drafted the wrong guy... I totally thought he was Marcus, I couldn't tell them apart." Gentry said. "The time was ticking and I got their names mixed up and... wow... we screwed up again..."

This isn't the Suns first time screwing up with NBA brothers... The Suns acquired Big man Jarron Collins thinking he was his Superior twin Jason, they drafted Robin Lopez, after mixing him up with his brother Brook, and they drafted Blake Griffin's older brother, Taylor, which was quite possibly the most embarrassing mix up yet.